Reflections from Manjunaga
These are a selection of Manjunaga’s monthly reflections sent out in his newsletter.
The sensory world (February 2012)
In 1948 a small boy was accompanying his mother as she went shopping in London. His mother took him into Selfridges as she wanted to try on a beautiful new-look coat from Dior. The boy’s mother could not afford the coat but wanted to experience herself wearing it, even if only for a few minutes. The young boy watched his mother swirling around in the coat, which, as she moved, was lit from behind. The young boy thought she looked so beautiful and felt that this vision of his mother was like seeing the beauty of women for the first time.
This event had a dramatic effect on the boy’s life. Years later he trained to become a photographer and became one of the most famous fashion photographers in the world. His name was David Bailey. What I love about this story, is that it illustrates the qualities of someone who is alive to the sensory world around them. This has sometimes been called, in archetypal terms, the ‘lover’ archetype. These people have a appetite for life, they are sensually aware and sensitive to the realm of their senses, noticing colours, forms, sounds, tactile sensations and smells. If you have ever eaten a meal cooked by someone with a passion for food and cooking you will have been touched by someone with these qualities. Poets, painters, musicians and connoisseurs are often drawn to these vocations because they have these qualities and they subsequently flourish in these fields. In my own life I have found that when I open more deeply to the realm of my senses and relax into a spacious awareness I find that I can really enjoy and appreciate a piece of music or a moment in nature; the world around me takes on a vividness and aliveness, becoming a thing of beauty.
“Our senses are indeed our doors and windows on this world, in a very real sense the key to the unlocking of meaning and the wellspring of creativity.”
Jean Houston, Teacher.
Committing to something we love (January 2012)
Jimi Hendrix’s manger Chas Chandler once said “Jimi Hendrix was the best guitarist in the world, because he wanted to be the best. He had a guitar on no less than 8 hours a day, he even took it into the toilet with him and would often sit in there playing for hours, because he liked the echo sound effect the guitar created of the tiles”. What this story illustrates is that Jimi Hendrix did not become a great musician by chance. He had a passion and a commitment to practising his craft. There is another story from Tibetan Buddhism about the great yogi Milarepa, who told his main disciple that he had one final teaching for him. He then lifted up his robes and pointed to calluses on his backside. The teaching being that these had been created from hours of sitting in meditation in his cave.
We may not be the next Jimi Hendrix or a great yogi, but we can have confidence that, with regular practice on our yoga mat, we will see results and experience the fruits and joys that come from committing wholeheartedly to something we love.
“Submit to daily practice.
Your loyalty to that
Is a ring at the door.Keep knocking, and the joy inside
Will eventually open a window
and look out to see who’s there.”Rumi
What Matters Most (December 2011)
We live in a complex world where many demands can be made on us through our work, family and relationships. We often live at a pace of life that is also very busy with not much space to pause and reflect. We may also find ourselves living a life we feel we some how stumbled into due to economic demands or voices from our surrounding culture or parents. A lot of our daily concerns can be worrying anxiously about the future or caught in the past, playing over in our head events that have long passed. I recently attended a meditation retreat, where for a week I had the space and time to relax into a more grounded open awareness. During the retreat I saw more clearly what was really important in my life, what held real meaning and value to me. We may not all have the opportunity to be able to go on a week’s retreat, but maybe we can find quiet pauses in our lives, on our yoga mat or in the rest of our day to stop and reflect on what really matters most?
The Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity, answered “Man…. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”
I Me Mine (November 2011)
On the Beatles’ album, Let It Be, George Harrison sings a beautiful song called I Me Mine. It includes the reflective lyrics “All through the day, I me mine, I me mine, I me mine, All through the night,
I me mine, I me mine, I me mine, Now they’re frightened of leaving it “. It is interesting to find a popular song dealing with the nature of the self. The song was inspired by George Harrison’s exploration of meditation and interest in Indian mysticism. In my own practice of yoga and meditation I have found the Buddha’s teaching on anatman, or Non Self, very helpful and liberating. What the Buddha taught was that all conditioned things are devoid of a permanent unchanging self. This is not a strange form of nihilism: it is not that we do not exist. Rather, it is saying that when we look at our direct experience all we observe are thoughts, feelings, perceptions, volitions, and acts of consciousness. Nothing is found that can be said to be solid and permanent. There is no fixed unchanging self at the centre of our experience. Everything that arises in our life is dependent on conditions. Unfortunately, we suffer because we believe the opposite to be true and spend our days trying to defend or assert a belief in a fixed identity and self.
Teachings such as these can at times seem very complex and bewildering. I have found it helpful to reflect on the basic view that you are not fixed and that you can change. We may have limiting views about ourselves but they do not define us. Maybe, as we explore our yoga practice more deeply, we can glimpse a sense of this, experiencing the fluid nature of ourselves, and trust that we are always so much more than we think we are.
Why are you unhappy?
Because 99.9 percent,
Of everything you think, and
Of everything you do,
Is for yourself-
And there isn’t one.Wei Wu Wei Ask the Awakened
Vision & Belief (October 2011)
On the 6th May 1954 a 25 year old medical student called Roger Bannister became the first man to run a mile in under four minutes. Pandemonium broke out within the crowd of 3,000 spectators when news spread that he had officially beaten the four minute mile. What is interesting about this story, apart from his athletic achievement is that up until that point it was considered impossible for a human to run the mile in under four minutes. After that day things changed and a new belief was held that it was now possible to do so. After a while it became normal for world class athletes in competition to run the mile under four minutes.
What this story beautifully illustrates is the power of belief and the nature of our minds and capabilities. The idea that somebody before has performed a certain action allows us to feel that maybe we could do the same. I feel that when we glimpse a vision of our potential, we are then able to move towards that vision knowing that others have done so before us.
There have been many times in my life when stories about people overcoming great difficulties and obstacles, together with a belief in my human potential, have given me the confidence to step into the unknown and embrace my potential. Maybe you can think of events in your own life when you have done the same? It may be giving up smoking after many years, or leaving a job to explore something that feels more of a vocation to you. However big or small our steps are in life we can hold the vision that we are much more than we could possibly imagine.
“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” Joseph Campbell, Mythologist
Doing nothing at all (September 2011)
Oscar Wilde once said that “To do nothing at all is the most difficult thing in the world, the most difficult and the most intellectual”. We live in a modern world where the idea of productivity is held in great esteem. Phrases such as “work hard, play hard” are seen as qualities that successful people should strive for and the old phrase“The devil finds work for idle hands to do” suggests that evil is to be found for those who give time to doing nothing!.
Since the industrial revolution and the idea of the protestant work ethic our lives have been regulated more and more by working longer hours. The idea that any value could be found in doing nothing, such as lying on your bed, and gazing out your window as the clouds pass by, or sitting quietly in nature just enjoying a state of relaxed being, can seem miles away from our busy lives or even a little threatening. Even as a yoga teacher and somebody with a meditation practice, I am often humbled by how hard I find it to just stop and move from a state of doing to just being. We may have views that nothing productive can come from doing nothing, when in fact allowing for moments of reflection and stillness can be nourishing for our bodies and soul. I have often found that when I do give myself time to do nothing I encounter a deep state of relaxed, open spaciousness and stillness. Things in my life that may have seemed a challenging difficulty before are perceived from a new fresh perspective. And I find myself re-engaging with life again with a new sense of vigor and aliveness.
“The ironic thing about doing nothing is that sometimes we accomplish an awful lot while appearing to be unproductive. When you recharge, gather your thoughts, and take time to simply be, you allow yourself to both enjoy stillness and more effectively engage in the world later. It might seem counterintuitive, but sometimes the most complete days are the ones that are not full. What meaningless activity can you replace with purposeful nothing today?” Lori Deschene Author of Tiny Buddha.
Living with Complexity (August 2011)
I have recently found the last several months have been very challenging for me in a number of ways, I have been supporting and caring for someone close to me who is severally ill. I have noticed that I have at times found it unbearable trying to sit and be with uncertainty, and the unknown, as well as being in relation to sickness, and a deepening sense of mine and others mortality. I have seen how parts of me close down due to fear, or desperately polarise into extremes, out of an anxiety to control my experience.
I feel that one of the challenges that life offers us is to be able to live with complexity. The nature of what it is to be human is complex; the world around us also is a complex place; so many factors and conditions need to be taken into account when dealing with the many situations that we encounter. I have also noticed that when I engage more deeply with my yoga and meditation practice or spending time relaxing on my own or with good friends, I then find a spaciousness in my experience that enables me to respond and re-engage with life in a much more open, creative and relaxed way. The Jungian psychologist James Hollis says that the spiritually mature person is able able to be with the 3 ‘A’s: Ambivalence, Ambiguity, and Anxiety. He says they will not look to a black and white simplicity or dogma. but will be able to live a meaningful life within the complexities that life offers us. We may be some way off from being able to be accepting of Ambivalence, Ambiguity, Anxiety in our lives, but I feel any attempt to open to these aspects of life can only lead to a more creative engagement with ourselves, others and the world we live in.
“Certainty begets stagnation, but ambiguity pulls us deeper into life. Unchallenged conviction begets rigidity, which begets regression; but ambiguity opens us to discovery, complexity, and therefore growth. The health of our culture, and the magnitude of our personal journeys, require that we learn to tolerate ambiguity, in service to a larger life.” James Hollis Jungian Psychologist
All you need is love? (July 2011)
On June 25th 1967 the Beatles broadcast via satellite to the world their new song “All you need is love” . It was the height of the swinging sixties and the summer of love. The concept of universal love was being celebrated and shared by the hippy youth underground culture with its explorations of eastern religion and experimentation with drugs such as LSD and Cannabis. Several years later by the end of 1969, things had changed and the optimist view that a new positive society would take over from the old seemed a faded dream. By 1970 John Lennon declared “The dream is over”.
So were those young men & women who were swept up in the idealism of the sixties wrong in thinking that they could change the world? From the viewpoint of history we might say yes. Some of the idealism of the sixties was naive, but to dismiss the whole movement seems not appropriate either. I still believe the world needs love and acts of kindness towards other human beings but also in relationship to the environment and the planet. For thousands of years wars have been fought and acts of cruelty and suffering have been inflicted on people of all groups and races. The world still needs love and compassion, but compassion imbued with wisdom. The Buddha taught that as long as craving, hatred and ignorance are at the root of our experience we will continue to cause suffering towards ourselves and others. We need to see more deeply that all things are impermanent, constantly changing and moving, nothing static that we can hold onto, that we are interconnected to all life, and that we are not a separate fixed self. If we can develop awareness and a deepening sense of wisdom in our lives then compassion and the simple selfless acts of kindness will become an outward expression of how we engage and relate to other people and the world around us. Then our practices of yoga and meditation can become radical tools of transformation that take us off our mats and into the world.
“I would say awareness is all you need, and then love proceeds from awareness. I think the saying ‘Love is all you need’ is a sentimentalization because ‘love’ after all is a word and anybody can interpret it differently, but I think awareness is a little more ample.”
Allen Ginsberg, Poet
Kindness in the face of suffering (June 2011)
I have recently had the sad news that a number of close friends and family have cancer, one with breast cancer, another with cancer of the bowl, the other with stomach cancer. Within the same week I was told that another friend had recently taken a overdose. I was left feeling a very strong sense of the amount of suffering and pain there is in the world. Suffering can take many forms. Some people are living with physical pain, others mental and emotional distress. At times it can all seem rather overwhelming and one can feel left with a sense of helplessness. I am reminded of the poem by Naomi Shihab Nye called Kindness, where she says
“Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside, you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing. You must wake up with sorrow. You must speak it till your voice, catches the thread of all sorrows and you see the size of the cloth.”
I feel that when I try to be open to my friends suffering I begin to see the “thread of all sorrows and the size of the cloth”. The Buddha taught that birth, old age sickness and death are marks or this world. Suffering is a part of life and what it is to be human. Sometimes we find meaning through our suffering and we are able to find a creative response or choice to the situation. These last few weeks when seeing others close to me, who I love and care for suffer, I have felt like my heart is being torn apart. Then the small acts of kindness seem the only way to respond to my friends suffering. We may choose to accompany a friend or partner to the hospital, cook them their dinner, or simply listen and be there for them. Maybe even tell them they are loved and cared for. Whatever we chose to do we can have confidence that being with our own suffering and that of others connects us into the great web of humanity and what it is to be simply human.
Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to mail letters and purchase bread,
only kindess that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
It is I you have been looking for ,
and then goes with you everywhere
like a shadow or a friend.
Naomi Shihab Nye Kindness
Unknown Pleasures (May 2011)
The Greek philosopher Epicurus taught men and women in his garden school in Athens the principles of exploring pleasure in ones life. Epicurus described pleasure as ataraxia, which is sometimes translated as ‘tranquility’ or ‘peace of mind’. Today in the modern world the word “pleasure” can have a lot of negative associations, with connections to living a hedonistic life, of indulgent behavior, enjoying sex and drugs, wild parties etc. Even the term “epicurean” has been reduced to this level. Epicurus and his teachings could not be further removed from a state of hedonistic living. He taught his students to live a simple life; he was a vegetarian and encouraged the cultivation of friendship as being one of the most important activities in life. Pleasure is an important part of life and something that as human beings we need. There is a difference between a compulsive or neurotic desire for sex or food, that too often, after the event, leaves us feeling empty, and an experience of sex or friendship (or even a delicious meal) that may leave us feeling deeply satisfied. To allow ourselves to be fully open to pleasure, in a full and receptive way, means being aware and alive to our experience; being embodied allowing for a sensitivity to our senses, of taste, touch, smell, sound; giving it time and space so that we may come into deeper relationship to our friend or lover, or even the meal on our plate.
“The true Epicurean is a person who weaves these pleasures into a life where labor and pleasure intertwine in a beautiful knot where one may be profoundly implicated in the other.” Thomas Moore, psychologist
School discos are like life (April 2011)
When I was at school at the end of term we would have a school disco. The idea was that it provided a chance for us to enjoy ourselves with our friends, and also to act as a little ritual to mark the Christmas or summer holidays beginning. As a teenage boy these events were extremely emotionally loaded affairs. Hormones were raging and it was a rare chance to dance with girls and also find your place within the social context of your peers. At the age of 13 I was very sensitive, shy, and unconfident. As the sound of The Specials’ ‘Ghost Town’ played out across the hall, I could often be found with a group of equally shy friends standing glued to the wall looking on nervously as more adventurous members of my school had made it on to the dance floor and were dancing, and laughing. As I stood there standing somewhat awkwardly in the corner trying not to be noticed, I became aware of a huge tension between the part of me that wanted to participate, to join the dance with others, to be a part of something connected and alive, and also aware of the fears that kept me from doing this: Fear of making a fool of myself, fear of not being able to dance, and even a fear of rejection.
School discos are like life. We can choose to sit on the sidelines watching passively as the dance of life with all its joys and pains moves and unfolds before us. Or we can embrace our fears and step into life, into feeling connected to others, allowing ourselves to be seen, to love and be loved, to be vulnerable and to be strong, to make mistakes and get things right, allowing ourselves to live. Our lives are very short, life is unpredictable, things are in constant flux; every moment things are coming into being and passing away – our thoughts, emotions, the seasons, relationships. If we can stay emotionally open and engaged with ourselves and life, allowing for a sense of intimacy, to be touched by others and the world around us, then life reveals it self to us in all its fullness.
“The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware.” Henry Miller
A question of perception (March 2011)
The visionary poet William Blake once wrote
“If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is, infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things thro’ narrow chinks of his cavern.”
The Buddha taught that one of the reasons we suffer and experience difficulties in life is because we misperceive the world around us. According to the Buddha we often think we have perceived a situation clearly when we have not. So often we bring labels and concepts of what is happening to the situation rather than just being with the direct experience as it is. This level of conceptualisation and labelling gives us the false impression that we know what something is. eg a car, chair, bird, mum, dad. But if can learn to come into relationship with our bodies and simply stay with the sensation of the direct experience as perceived via our senses, just allow the bare experience to be there, fully attending to it in a relaxed and open awareness then something alive, vibrant , and constantly changing and moving is revealed not a static solid fixed object or situation. So maybe next time we enjoy drinking a cup of tea or coffee, we can try relaxing and being attentive to the warmth of the hot drink as it touches your lips, the weight of the mug or cup in your hand, maybe the soft swirling rise of the steam from the drink as it rises into the air and then vanishes again and again. Holding more lightly any ideas of thoughts about what we think will happen and just being open through our body and our senses to the mystery of the direct experience as it unfolds.
“The moment a little boy is concerned with which is a jay and which is a sparrow, he can no longer see the birds or hear them sing.” Eric Berne, Psychotherapist
soul & spirit (February 2011)
As a young man in my early twenties I was inspired by the idea of meditation as a goal to help me reach higher states of consciousness. This had come about partly through my experimentation with hallucinogenic drugs such as LSD, and also through reading the works of Aldous Huxley whose book The Doors of Perception described the author under the influence of mescalin as he tried to grasp the nature of the mystical experience.
After many years of engaging with Buddhist meditation practices and attending longer intensive meditation retreats, I found a growing tension in my experience: between the desire for relationship, and engagement with the world, and this urge to transcend, to move beyond my current experience. The founder of archetypal psychology James Hillman calls these two aspects Soul & Spirit. He sees Spirit as concerned with transcendence, to move beyond, to distance oneself, the realm of ideas, clarity, masculinity. Soul in Hillman’s sense is not used in the way we sometimes think as an eternal part of us that will be liberated from the body after death. Soul in this sense is not a thing but a quality: dark, mysterious, moist, associated with the earth, the body, imagination and the feminine.
Both need each other, but for anybody wishing to explore what we call a spiritual path, it is easy to lose touch with soul and to consider themselves above others, and the mundane world and its concerns. This view of seeing spiritual practice as concerning itself with higher matters can lead to a tendency to escape or cut off from our lived experience and engagement with the everyday world, sometimes even leading to a desire to repress aspects of ourselves such as our sexuality and our relationship to our bodies. Any practices that help us stay embodied and in relationship to our body and the realm of feeling and sensation is vital if the flame of soul is to be kept alive. Yoga and meditation, dance, focusing, and other forms of body work if taught with a soulful perspective can be of great value. I will leave you once again with some words from James Hillman.
“The Spiritual point of view always posits itself as superior, and operates particularly well in a fantasy of transcendence among ultimates and absolutes.”
Career versus vocation (January 2011)
Jac Holzman, founder of Elektra records, home to such artists as The Doors, Love and Tim Buckley; when asked why he founded the label he said.
“For me, it was a calling to start a label. It was not a gig. It was was not a job. It was just something my soul simply had to do”.
Many times in life we find ourselves asking the question “What is it I am meant to do with my life?” and we can often find ourselves working within a career we stumbled into due to economic demands or voices from our surrounding culture or parents.
The Mythologist Joseph Campbell, who spent many years of his life working within academia, tells the story of students coming to him asking “What should I do with my life” and he would answer “Follow your bliss”. His response may appear at first to be vague, but I feel what he is inviting us to do is to follow what we love, allow ourselves to be open to where this may take us. rather than pursuing a career because it appears to offer security and strong financial rewards. The word vocation comes from the Latin word vocatus which means our ‘calling’. We may need to earn a living and support ourselves and those dependent on us, but not at the expense of living a meaningful life. I remember the day I decided to explore training to become a yoga teacher. I was on a yoga workshop, and as we broke for lunch I stepped outside into the warm sunlight. I suddenly felt a deep knowing within my body that I knew what I wanted to do with my life, and to ignore this inner voice would lead to a lesser and more constricted way of being. As we step into another year in our lives, maybe we can pause for a moment and ask ourselves “Is this the life I wish to live?”, and if the answer is no, then have the courage to be open to our ‘calling’ and wherever that may take us. I will leave you with some words from Jungian Psychologist James Hollis:
“We do not really choose a vocation, rather it chooses us. Our only choice is how we respond. One’s vocation may have nothing to do with earning money. One may be called to nurture others. One may be called to be an artist in a time which does not reward art, but we are sustained by saying yes despite neglect, even rejection.”
Questions & answers (December 2010)
In ancient Greece at Delphi above the entrance to the temple of Apollo were inscribed the words “Know thyself”. Delphi was considered the centre of the ancient world and the navel or womb of the world ( the word delphys means “womb”). In the innermost chamber of the temple sat the oracle. People came from all over ancient Greece to consult with the oracle and ask her a question. Great kings going to war would ask the oracle if they would they win or be defeated. The answer they got back from the oracle was often obscure and ambiguous. The effect of this ambiguity in the answer meant that people who consulted the oracle were then thrown back on themselves and asked to “know thyself” to get a clearer sense of what the answer to their question might be. When I am struggling to find a clearer answer to a unresolved question in my own life, I have found that being in relationship to the question, uncomfortable as this may be, and then allowing the answer to unfold and reveal itself to me has led to a deeper truth and an opening to life. I will leave you with the words of the poet Rainer Maria Rilke.
“Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”
Reason & emotion (November 2010)
Aldous Huxley once said you can sum up the history of every man and; woman who has ever lived with the following words: “I see the better and approve it, the worse is what I pursue”. If men and; women were merely rational beings then knowing would be indistinguishable from doing. But we are not, we are creatures of desire. Our emotions ultimately determine our behaviour. We can have an idea that something maybe good for us to do, but find it hard to galvanise the rest of ourselves into action. Often I feel a sense of humiliation at my inability to bring together my head and my heart. However, I find practices like yoga and meditation bring me more deeply into relationship with myself and my emotional body, engaging my emotions so that my behaviour can change, bridging the gap between reason and emotion.
“When your head says one thing and your whole life says another, your head always loses.”
Humphrey Bogart (from the film Key Largo)
Being in relationship to others (October 2010)
The novelist E.M Forster once wrote “only connect”. As human beings, we are in constant relationship with both ourselves and the world around us. To be human is to be connected. The Buddha taught that one of the root causes of our suffering is the view that we are separate from the world and other living beings. When I feel unconnected to others and isolated from myself and my environment I find this very painful. It is interesting to note that when we feel connected to others then our actions in the world become more selfless and compassionate, our relationship to others more harmonious, giving our lives a deeper sense of meaning and abundance. The yoga teacher and writer Donna Farhi says in her book Bringing Yoga to Life:
“Which viewpoint we adopt – seeing the world from the perspective of connection or separation – will determine all our interactions and how we interpret and give meaning to even the most ordinary moments. As long as we see the world from the viewpoint of separateness, we are doomed to a life of conflict and suffering.”
Top five regrets (September 2010)
I recently came across an article by a woman called Bronnie Ware who had worked for many years as a nurse in palliative care, working with people who are in the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. When faced with their own mortality and asked about any regrets they had, certain themes came to the surface again and again. Here are the most common five:
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners.3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming.4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years.5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits.Reading this list I found it sobering and inspiring, and I could see many of those themes in my life. I would like to live a life that means, when I am on my death bed, I am not full of regrets, and, as the poet Mary Oliver says, I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.
Finding meaning through loss & grief (August 2010)
As I leave my house for work in the morning, I often find myself greeted by the sight of a funeral hearse pulling out of the undertakers at the top of my street. As the long black vehicle slowly passes me I am drawn to reflect that I too will, one day, die and that my body will probably be carried away in a coffin like the one before me, leaving behind friends, family and loved ones. I also reflect that the hearse may be taking somebody’s grandmother, grandfather, father or mother, son or daughter, husband or wife, or friend. To be human and to engage with life means that we will suffer repeated losses, not just of people but, also security, innocence, connectedness. The more we fully partake of life the more we see that nothing can be held onto. When we really experience loss we also glimpse the value of something. It is interesting to note that the word grief, which etymologically is related to the word gravity, from the Latin gravis (“to bear or carry”). I feel the task that loss and grief asks of us is to acknowledge and value what has touched us. The loss of a loved one is very painful indeed, yet the grieving is in itself a celebration of the richness that life offers us. The poet Mary Oliver from her poem In Blackwater Woods capures this beautifully:
To live in this world
you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it
against your own bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.
The present moment (July 2010)
If we stop and look closely at our lives, we can see that from the time we are born to the day we die, our lives are made up of moments – each one coming into being and then passing away. Our lives are a continual experience of flux and change with nothing static or fixed. This continual change and impermanence is a fact of our lives. Unfortunately our tendency in life is not to be open and aware of each new moment, but to either allow our minds to leap into the future anticipating what we think will happen, or getting caught up in the past by playing back old regrets or missed opportunities like an old tape played over and over again. But if we can become aware that all we have is the present moment before us, then this offers us the wonderful opportunity to be fully alive, embracing each new moment in our lives with all its riches, beauty, joy, and even the human moments of pain and sadness.
The poet Denise Levertov Capures this beautifully when she writes.
All which, because it was
flame and song and granted us
joy, we thought we’d do, be, revisit,
turns out to have been what it was
that once, only; every invitation
did not begin
a series, a build-up: the marvelous
did happen in our lives, our stories
are not drab with its absence: but don’t
expect to return for more. Whatever more
there will be will be
unique as those were unique. Try
to acknowledge the next
song in its body- halo of flames as utterly
present, as now or never.
Encountering archetypes (June 2010)
I am aware that I am inhabiting a polyphonic universe – that is to say I am made up of many different voices, impulses, attitudes or parts. I am not just one thing. How many times have I ended a sexual relationship with the sense of this being the right thing to do, only to find myself several days later feeling a sense of regret that it has ended and hoping that we will get back together? It may be a helpful perspective to consider that the one that ended the relationship is not the one that is now feeling the regret. Listening to all these various voices can sometimes feel like trying to conduct an unruly orchestra and can leave us feeling split or divided. One way I have found immensely helpful in understanding these varying facets of myself has been the exploration of archetypes from the pantheon of gods and goddesses of ancient Greece. C.G Jung introduced the idea of archetypes in psychology as powerful inner forces which can be personified by Greek gods and goddesses.
Whether the sensuality and passion of Dionysus, the wisdom of Athena, or the maternal nurturing qualities of Demeter, by immersing ourselves in these figures and their myths these inner forces within us are given a much larger and richer context in which to be held as the dramas unfold of what it means to be human.
Most of us were taught about the gods and goddesses of Mt. Olympus at some time in school and have seen statues and paintings of them. The Romans worshiped these same deities, addressing them by their Latin names. The Olympians had very human attributes: their behavior , emotional reactions, appearance, and mythology provide us with patterns that parallel human behavior and attitudes. They are also familiar to us because they are archetypal; that is, they represent models of being and behaving we recognize from the collective unconscious we all share.
Jean Shinoda Bolen M. D. Jungian psychologist.
If you are interested in further reading I can recommend:
Goddesses in everywoman; Powerful Archetypes in Women’s Lives – Jean Shinoda Bolen
Gods in everyman; Archetypes That Shape Men’s Lives – Jean Shinoda Bolen
Myth & meaning in our lives (May 2010)
For aeons human beings have asked questions like ‘who are we?’ and ‘where do we come from?’ They have tried to make sense of the patterns of their lives, the rites of birth, death, war, love. Stories and myths have offered us a frame work in which to make sense of what it means to be human and to be in this world. Growing up in the 1970s I loved reading the great Greek Myths, such as the adventures of Jason and the Argonaut’s. Also through my regular visits to the local cinema the Star Wars films played out epic themes of the hero’s journey. Consciously or unconsciously myths give meaning to an often confusing world. They can be found in creation myths, folk and fairy tales, Homeric epics and Norse sagas, Greek tragedy, radio plays, novels, movies and even television soap operas.
For me this exploration of myth has continued into my adult life and, at different stages of my life, various myths have helped me come to termswith grief, love, my mortality, and a desire to live a unfolding, meaningful life. Maybe you are aware of what stories or myths have stirred and touched your lives? Some myths speak to women more than men such as the Sumerian story of Inanna-Ishtar and Ereshkigal or for men the Myth of Perseus and his meeting with Medusa. Jungian psychologist James Hollis writes:
Myth takes us deep into the psychic reservoirs of humanity. Whatever our cultural and religious background or personal psychology, a greater intimacy with myth provides a vital linkage with meaning, the absence of which is so often behind the private and collective neuroses of our time. In short, the study of myth is the search for that which connects us most deeply with our own nature and place in the cosmos.
For further reading see Descent to the Goddess ( A Way of Initiation for Women) Sylvia Brinton Perera
The Hero with a Thousand faces Joseph Campbell
The landscape of the body (April 2010)
I have been reflecting recently on the process of becoming more embodied through our yoga practice. Many years ago, when I first began my journey of exploring yoga, I became aware of what I refer to as the emotional body – the realm within us where we are able to sense our emotions, feelings and all the subtle textures of our felt experience. As I began to deepen my yoga practice I noticed that I entered into a more intimate relationship with myself and that our bodies hold our history. Sometimes during time on my mat and after a class I felt myself opening up to joy, happiness, even bliss, and sometimes uncomfortable feelings of anger, grief, even sadness.
This emotional landscape that we begin to encounter can leave us at times feeling challenged and unsettled. Herein lies the paradox – that to live a more open-hearted and aware life means that we have to learn to be with uncomfortable aspects of our experience, but doing so enables us to be more fully there with empathy for ourselves and others as they encounter what for them may be a challenging time in their life. This also offers us a opportunity to fully open up to the moments of happiness and joy that we encounter as we pass through our lives. I shall leave you this month with some words from the great Sufi master Rumi which captures the essence of this way of being.
THE GUEST HOUSE
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you outfor some new delight.
Forever changes (March 2010)
Dusty Springfield once sang ” How can I be sure in a world that’s constantly changing?” The Buddha taught that that all things are impermanent, there is nothing fixed or solid in this world, that everything including our thoughts, body and feelings are in a state of flux. This truth, this experience of life can sometimes leave us feeling anxious, and we may try to control the world around us to make us feel more secure.
But if we try and relax into a more open, spacious attitude to our experience then we can learn to trust that openness. In my yoga and meditation practice I have begun to glimpse a sense of this relaxed, spacious openness not only on my mat but also, and more importantly, in the rest of my life. This month’s quote comes from the 14th century Tibetan Buddhist teacher Tsongkhapa – I hope you find it inspiring.
The human body, at peace with itself, is more precious than the rarest gem.
Cherish your body, it is yours this one time only.
The human form is won with great difficulty, it is easy to lose.
All worldly things are brief, like lightning in the sky.
This life you must know as the tiny splash of a raindrop, a thing of beauty that disappears even as it comes into being.
Therefore set your goal, make use of every day and night to achieve it.
Opening to our potential (February 2010)
Recently I have been reflecting on the tension that we can experience between the desire to grow and expand into new, undiscovered areas of being and the strong counterforce of wishing to resist change and cling to the familiar. This has been a strong theme that I have wrestled with over many years, and also witnessed in others peoples lives. Many years ago I came across a quote in a book by humanist psychologist Abraham Maslow that seemed to shake me to my very core. I found it calling out a voice of warning should I allow myself to consciously live a reduced life.
“There is an impulse to be the best, the very best you are capable of becoming. If you deliberately plan to be less than you are capable of being , then I warn you that you’ll be deeply unhappy for the rest of your life. “
Commitment (January 2010)
Once again another year beckons and a time when we can find ourselves reflecting on the past year and maybe making new resolutions for the year ahead. Whatever our plans for 2010 I have been reflecting recently on the act of committing oneself, to really give ourselves wholeheartedly to our lives and the effect that has as events unfold. So whether we are deciding to commit to a relationship, our work or family life, or maybe our yoga practice, then, like me, you may find the words of W.H. Murray of the 1951 Scottish Himalaya Expedition, inspiring.
Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, the providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. I learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets:
Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!’
